A Cyclops Who Likes Anime. A Shameful Cyclops

I don’t watch anime anymore. Too much terrible. I always knew it was awful, and watched it with that floating in front of my eyes at all times, but Haruhi really took a hammer and nailed it into my brain so deeply I can no longer remove it. Of course it’s not really all Haruhi’s fault - I wasn’t watching much aside from it and Minami-ke, and that was more a product of their previous quality than because they’re anime. Anime has just - the moe devolution has swallowed the industry whole hog, and even where light still leaps forth from the smothering dark it’s the sickly flickering lights of the will o’ wisps, luring us down with promises of coherent storylines and smarty written characters before the poisonous sludge crawls up our bodies and drags us into a pit of mewling monstrosities, collectively known as the Same Old Shit

Gonna have to turn in my card and check out, sorry. I’ll try, probably in vain, to rekindle my interest as time goes on, but I honestly think I spent too much of my time on shit, and the few times I expected something to rise (and remain) above the mediocrity line I watched it plunge into No-Man’s Land yet again. I can’t say it was a good seven years, but it entertained me enough I suppose. Farewell anime and your hydras. Farewell.

Kanako’s set as the representative for the second years in the planning of the Mary Festival. It’s some big campus-wide activity where they have a parade with floats and the little kids dress up like angels, sort of like a religious Japanese Thanksgiving Day Parade, I gather. The problem is Kanako is agnostic and knows nothing about the Virgin Mary. In this case, literally knows nothing. So she asks the Student Council President to help. There’s some backstory with Mariya and the president (it’s absurd), things are gone into a little bit, etc. There’s a lot of violence in this episode.

Where I apologize for the last two weeks (I was on vacation) and for the next week (I will be moving). What, moving again?! That’s right. There’s been a lot of rain lately, and I’m getting a little sick of the constant flooding in East Karana. I haven’t decided where I’ll go yet, only that it should be a little higher above sea level.

That’s right, it’s time for Proon to make a trip back home. Unfortunate, but it’s only for two weeks so you’ll have to be strong. While I’m in OoT (Ocean of Tears, which I’m beginning to realize is aptly named), my updating schedule may be a tad erratic. I know it has been lately but even moreso is what I’m saying. Don’t you worry, I’ll still find time to update a few times a week no matter what; since most of the shows are on hiatus for a week or two it means I may be able to get caught up!

Well I’m taking the first boat in the morning, so I’m going to get some sleep. I swear if this place is infested with bixies or gnolls when I come back I’m going to freak the fuck out.

I told you these are really rolling in, didn’t I?! Today’s entry, sent by one Danny Tanner in Permafrost, Antonica, takes some extreme artistic license with the subject matter. Not that part where I’m crushing a fist full of bixies, that happens frequently. Or the way I’m holding a skull above me; I often savor memories of victory. But the fantasies about anime women are QUITE 100% FALSE I SWEAR! I’ve never thought about any of the many hot hot fictional women in anime that way I’m totally serious. Totally…totally serious.

I’m really quite serious about this.

STOP TAKING MY SHIT YOU SON OF A BITCH!

I’VE HAD IT UP TO HERE IF I SEE YOU ON MY LAWN AGAIN I AM CALLING THE KARANA NEIGHBORHOOD ALLIANCE

I know this is probably too soon after the previous one, and at this rate I’m going to run out so I should stop it, but this one was just too good to pass up! It comes from little Trundlehoof B. care of Runnyeye Citadel, and (if you couldn’t tell) depicts my furious anger at a Japanese dude wearing a nonsensical Engrish shirt. Keep those images coming and I’ll keep putting them up!

of Proon Art (TM) submissions. I get them from people all the time, you have no idea! I finally got enough so I figured I’d start posting some of them. The kids are adorable!

This one is a little rudimentary but it reinforces vital Prooncepts (Proon Concepts). Enjoy!

Well, it’s happened again Proon fans - I’ve run out of Proon Pellets, which aside from tasting absolutely delicious and increasing my strength sevenfold, are the only way I can get to sleep at night. What does that mean? A lot of sleepless nights for ol’ Proon, that’s what. As you’re no doubt aware of, thanks to the success of the feature film Fight Club, chronic insomnia can cause mild to extreme bouts of insanity. As I wrestle with my inner demons and their love of falling from high ledges and “the shakes”, updates may become scarce, or increasingly frequent. Or more rambling or perhaps less illuminating. I ask that you please bear with me until this ship can be righted. Which may be fairly soon but will most likely take a very long time.

If I stop writing updates for longer than two weeks you’ll know I’m finally dead and ol’ Proon has moved on to a better place. I’ll still be looking down on you, however, shaking my fist angrily and silently cursing in ghostspeak: “OoooOOOOooOOOOooooooO!”

When Fippy sees me coming he goes running
‘Cause I’m bringing a pain monsoon
Of course he’s not the only one for whom I’m gunning
Bloody massacre is spelled PROON

I hang around East Karana sitting up high
Sipping tea with some crushed natty ice
Sometimes crushing adventurers as they run by
When I squeeze ‘em real hard I call it “Proon’s Vice”

If you ask me Faydwer might as well be sunk
Nerd races with stupid hats
Botherin’ me with shit while I’m gettin’ all crunk
At least I can always crush ‘em flat

And Highpass Hold? Man what the fuck
Guards always bringin’ me down
But when they mess with me they’re outta luck
‘Cause I may be a joker but I ain’t no-one’s clown

Everyone has friends, so ‘course I got a few
I love rolling around Norrath with my krew
D’Vinn, Hasten, and King Xorbb are chief
We love to party and we love to grief

While I hate everyone and everything enough
At the top of the list are the pixies
Not the buzzing or yelling or any of that stuff
JUST REALLY, A BEE CROSSED WITH A PIXIE?!?

I hope you see now that you can’t beat me
A Rook will never lose to a Pawn
With your two eyes youI can certainly see
I’ll be killing you the next time I spawn