A Cyclops Who Likes Anime. A Shameful Cyclops

Removed because I decided making it a page would be better for everyone in the end. Particularly me. Here’s the link so click it or I’ll eat my children out of depression!

This is just a placeholder, but let me say this:

I just watched this. And it’s fucking awesome.

fucking terrible. I just wanted to make sure that my thoughts were known on the subject. Even though I haven’t gone over any of the episodes yet, I feel I must say right now that it is probably even worse than the first Negima series. Which is quite practically beyond comprehension.

They could have just remade it with better animation, or a script that adhered more closely to the manga, or virtually done anything to improve it. Instead, they took the characters and basic setting, and constructed a completely new story, which not only is convoluted, boring, stupid, and devoid of almost any thought of cohesion, but also has far fewer action and fighting scenes. That’s right, the only thing this series does well, the magical fights, are few and far between, and over within a minute or so.

The new characters suck. The changes to the existing characters suck. The “Hulk”-style rapidly morphing panels suck. The new story sucks. The new partner system sucks. The dialog sucks. The opening sucks. The chupacabra fixation was cute in the first episode and then it started sucking and now it really, really, REALLY sucks. The character designs are worse than Akamatsu’s by far; everyone looks like they’ve been sharpened to nothing but points. Basically, the only things that make the series worthwhile (the fights) are so scarce that it practically becomes a non-issue. Ugh. Akamatsu is a great mangaka and you guys are killin’ him here

edit: turns out it was only half over, the subbers decided to release up to episode 13 and then nothing for a month as a kind of incredibly cruel practical joke. weep

Mister gets back to the ship and all patched up after getting shot (he got shot). But that’s ok, because Franca apparently gave Marciano the slip (or she only wanted her necklace with Bruce’s eye in it or…something). She’s back with the rest of the dudes so there’s that. Then it’s revealed that the entire guild perhaps isn’t under Marciano’s control, as the other faction (probably from the dead dudes) comes to defeat her. Of course, her ROBOT GRANDCHILDREN are death machines, so they cut that fleet up like whoa. Speaking of which, the doctor that made them does some repairs after the last smash between them and Mister (Mister kicks ass).

BOTTOM LINE: THE RACE TO GREENLAND IS ON (FOR TREASURE)

Trying to sneak through the Space Station Animu, the Marciano forces catch up with our dawgz and turn the whole area into one big k-marting festival. It’s big trouble let me tell you, big big trouble. There’s some crazy HIGH FLYING STUNTS and also some shooting and explosions and one blue whale (but I won’t tell you where you just gotta watch it yourself). Towards the end, Marciano corners Mister but Franca says she’ll go with them if they let him live. I don’t remember what happens after that but I believe she agrees and then attempts to kill him anyway in some kind of explosion but he lives. Or maybe she doesn’t, he lives though so it doesn’t really matter. Angela finally tracks him down after all this shit happens, and holds him up at gunpoint and says she’s arresting him but lets him drive away to save his daughter because she really likes him awwwwwwwwwwwww.

BOTTOM LINE: This space station got nothin on Deep Nerd Nine

The matches are ready to roll down a hill of syrupy sweetness and half-melted Styrofoam WHAT well that just means that this is what happens in this episode YES FREAK OUT MORE

So eventually Kazuki gets bitchy enough that they decide to have a “…fuck you know what I’m not even going to close that parenthesis, it can just STAY OPEN THE WHOLE TIME I don’t care! HAH!!! FUCKIN OWNED! Something, they have something, it’s not a contest, or maybe it is, but it’s one of those arbitrary events Japanese people seem to love having to decide something important. I don’t know why they can’t solve their problems rationally and then compete in things with inherent competition, like sports or acadamia or smuggling children to the Russian mafia for underground pornography rings without getting caught by INTERPOL but I guess that’s just my old-fashioned Cyclopian upbringing rearing its ugly, single-eyed head.

So the deal is if Kazuki acts nice to Yuuske (I’ll look his name up for the next summary I swear to god) and he starts fuckin off then he gets to get kicked out of her house… where he’s not living or something, whatever, we all know situations don’t have to make logical sense in anime, so she tempts the fuck out of him but he doesn’t budge a goddamn inch he’s like Superman would be like if he was living in Japan and a teenager with no super powers and also perverted and extremely lame. So eventually something happens and I think Kazuki winds up calling off the whatever it is they’re having, or something. Either way things are aight with them by the end.

BOTTOM LINE: EPISODE 2 is good and so far the series is still worth watching so…there’s that

Let’s call this episode 18 even though it probably isn’t. Just for uniformity, so I know where I fucked up (maybe) (I won’t figure it out) (oh god).

This episode is one BIG FREE-FOR-ALL with animated snow-creatures. Imagine Frosty the Snowman, and then feed him through an Anime machine. As he goes through the saws, gougers, giant needles and the shards of broken scrap metal, you hear his constant screaming.The mangled, bleeding, whimpering creature you see at the end is this new Holic episode.

Ok it’s not bad it’s actually pretty good. Everyone makes some kind of snow creature on Yuuko’s command (although they’re not told what for) and then they come to life and battle it out. Most creatures are kind of just…you know, there, and then they get splattered by the COMBAT MODELS, and there’s a robot with a gun and japanese gods and it gets really strange but also hilarious.

BOTTOM LINE: This is good more episodes about this plz

In this round of “Really not just a rehash of Outlaw Star no I’m serious guys really” the gang is trying to get through a military checkpoint or…something. It definitely has something to do with fooling the military, you can bet on that. And they do so, by posing as a group of traveling salesman from…well I don’t know where but it certainly isn’t Hawaii because that would be silly so imagine, like, a whole planet, IN THE FUTURE that has the same clothing style as Hawaii.

Because that’s what the creators of this show did!

BOTTOM LINE: Pretty lol, they con those dudes something fierce

We have a flashback, courtesy of Bruce’s electronic eye, of how he assembled the team for the bank heist job (Galactic Bank I believe, the biggest bank in the galaxy or whatever) and managed to ride close to the top of the company within a few months in order to get access to you know whatever. It’s a big complicated plan, which I don’t really understand, being a simple cyclops. The plan is long enough and convoluted enough that he majorly impresses everyone aboard the…ship…and that’s that.

So now Franca decides that she wants them to go after the $$$$$, and they prepare to JOURNEY FOURTH

YOU CANNOT LEAVE WITHOUT YOUR BUDDY SUPERFLYBISHOP

BOTTOM LINE: Very awesome episode, Bruce the Pirate was one smart dude and you kinda wish he hadn’t died if he was so cool

The last dozen or so Air Gear manga chapters have been fucking horrible. Clearly Oh! Great ran past his plot outline and has just started throwing nonsensical shit into the mix. There’s some tuner team named Tool Toule To, which help maintain King regalia by going out with them or fucking them or something (I doubt OG even knows at this point). Everyone has one, and also Simica is a part of it. But Simica is part of Genesis, and in fact the LEADER of Genesis? That’s right! How can she be on two teams at once? Logic has no place in this realm.

Now the rest of the Sleeping Forest members have come around, and they’re all kings or something like that, and they were on the other side of the Trophaeum tower (which makes no sense since it’s a tower and also there’s no sky king so no one can have the tower). They’re also all incredibly evil and sadistic, but so is Ringo now it seems (at least, she orders one of the dudes on her team killed remotely when he gets captured, and then fucks up Simica). Now, we all know Ringo is a nice chick and not sadistic and evil, which has been established for the past entire SERIES and also Ikki has been living with her for almost his entire life. Added to this, Simica has kind of been on even footing with her every time they’ve met. So Ringo has just attacked Simica, a member of the tuner team, which Ringo also gets services from.

Now you take all of these contradictions and it adds up to a series that just rapidly nosedived, similarly to the way Tenjo Tenge went into that awful past arc for no fucking reason and spent like a year on it ugh. I have a feeling OG is just going to start throwing random plot “twists” and changing characters’ personalities at random until he manages to stumble through this series.

Shonen manga is really, really terrible